Late-Lee I’ve been thinking about how we use our voice in leadership. Not in the area of public speaking. Not in “finding your why.” I mean the way we show up in conversations—especially to support others. 

I’ve had to learn (and re-learn) that just because I can say something, doesn’t always mean I should. I’ve jumped in too fast before. Offered a fix when someone just needed a minute. I’ve said something I thought was helpful, but the way I said it—well, let’s just say it fell flatter than a biscuit without baking powder.

So late-Lee, here’s what I’ve come to believe—not as a quote or mantra to hang on a wall, but as something I keep learning in real time and hope you can glean something from.

• Tone is everything.

There’s a difference between tellin’ the truth and throwing it like a brick. You can say something meant to support—but if it comes out short or sharp, folks won’t hear the support. They’ll hear judgment. And that’s when the wall goes up.

• Timing is underrated.

Some of the best things I’ve said fell flat because I said them too soon. Or when someone was tired. Or right after a meeting that already drained them. Sometimes waiting is the kindest thing you can do. It’s just like a good southern baker will do. They wait for the oven to be warm before putting the biscuits in. 

• Say it plain.

If I’m offering help, I don’t need to make it sound like a TED Talk. Just say, “I’m here. I want to help. Let’s talk it through.” People don’t need perfect words. They need real ones. As my mama used to tell me, “I’m telling you this not to hurt you, but rather to help you.”

• Silence isn’t failure.

Sometimes the strongest move is to say nothing at all. Let the moment breathe. Let the person process. And then come back to it when they’re ready—and when you are, too. Essentially, we need to hush long enough to hear what’s going on. 

So yeah. I’m still learning. But I’ve stopped thinking that leadership is about always having something to say. Sometimes it’s about knowing when not to say anything. It’s okay to hit the pause button on the conversation and just like a good piece of meat…let it rest.

And for what it’s worth—if you’re a leader, a coach, or just someone trying to do the right thing—just remember:

You don’t have to say it fancy.

You just have to mean it. And, most importantly, it needs to come from a good place.