By the time February reaches the middle of the month, the paper hearts are still hanging in the hallways, but the novelty of them has worn off.

The work hasn’t slowed down. The emails still come regularly. The meetings still fill the calendar. The needs of students, staff, and families remain steady and real. These are the moments when love in leadership becomes a deliberate action.

Because love, in leadership, is not a feeling. It’s a decision you make over and over again. A decision to stay engaged when it would be easier to withdraw. It’s the choice to be patient when frustration would be justified. It’s moving forward with having the hard conversation instead of the easy silence. Love shows up in the choices we make in our minds long before it shows up in words or actions.

What Love Looks Like on a Tuesday Morning

Late-Lee, I’ve been thinking about some social media posts I’ve read where leadership is often scrutinized for this or that. In many cases, the staff members posting feel they’ve been wronged in some way.

It reminded me of an activity I facilitated at a school where we asked teachers to define what support looks like. You can imagine the range of responses and the picture of needs they painted. In no way could the leadership team fully meet 100% of those definitions. In any given situation, someone would not see their actions as supportive. But here’s what was so powerful.

When we analyzed the responses and grouped them into themes, we found that, at the core, most people wanted to be shown love.

Love in leadership rarely looks dramatic. It looks ordinary and consistent.

It looks like:

• Giving thoughtful feedback instead of rushed correction
• Listening fully before responding
• Following through on what you said you would do
• Holding someone accountable because you believe they are capable

These aren’t grand gestures. They are daily decisions that quietly shape culture. People can tell when a leader chooses to care, not just when they are required to manage.

Choosing Care When It’s Inconvenient

The true test of leadership love is not how you show up on good days. It’s how you show up when you’re tired, when progress feels slow, or when the same issue surfaces again.

I can remember many mornings sitting in my bathroom with tears streaming down my face because the work felt so heavy, and the day hadn’t even started yet. There was an angry parent meeting ahead, a difficult conversation with a teacher about performance waiting, and the steady pressure of ensuring Tier 1 instruction was strong and aligned to standards all while still balancing classroom visits, meetings, and daily responsibilities. Those days happened, and when they did, I had to wipe my face, put on my red lipstick, open the door, and walk into every demand.

I learned that the moments when choosing care felt the most inconvenient were the exact moments when it mattered most.

I chose:

• to respond calmly
• to stay curious instead of critical
• to remember the person, not just the problem

That choice and others like them can change the tone of an entire team.

Accountability Is a Form of Love

Sometimes, the most loving thing a leader can do is refuse to lower the bar.

When children are learning to walk, we don’t hold their hands every step. We let them find their balance. We let them fall and get back up. The same is true in leadership. Holding people accountable doesn’t mean we don’t care. It means we care enough to let them grow through the process. The difference is in the tone in which the accountability rests.

Love says:

• “I know you can do this.”
• “I’m not going to let you settle for less.”
• “I’m going to walk with you, but I won’t do it for you.”

When accountability is rooted in belief, people feel supported, not scrutinized.

The Accumulation of Small Decisions

Culture is not built through big speeches. It’s built through small, repeated decisions made by leaders every day.

When you consistently choose patience, clarity, follow-through, and belief in others, people begin to feel it. They trust it. They respond to it. That is love in motion.

Some Questions Worth Pondering

As this month continues, pause and ask yourself:

• What decisions am I making today that show people I care?
• Where might I be operating on autopilot instead of intention?
• How could a small shift in how I respond change the experience of those I lead?

Love in leadership is not accidental. It is chosen. And the good news is, you get to choose it again tomorrow.