So late-Lee I’ve been thinking about how much I miss walking down the halls at work and seeing people smile. I’m a smiler…I’m a big ole cheesy grinner! Did you know that smiling is #2 on the list of 43 Habits of Absolutely Happy People? Smiling has a ton of benefits besides just making us look better…LOL!

Have you ever been in a sour mood and then someone comes along with a huge smile, some laughter, or they just seem in a really good mood? Perhaps a baby looked up at you and smiled. When you realize it really wasn’t a gassy smile, how did this make you feel? Admit it. You know you smiled back.

When the person you are talking to or the people that surround you are smiling, you can’t help but smile with them. A smile has special powers. It can calm fear, insecurity, hurt and anxiety not only in yourself, but in those that are experiencing those feelings. The next time someone is feeling sad, scared, nervous, whatever it may be, smile with them and see how this makes them feel! When my mom died, I seriously thought I would never smile again. I even felt guilty when I did. But, what I realized is my mama would be very sad if she knew I wasn’t smiling because of her. I’m certain she would look down from heaven and wag her finger at me exclaiming, “Rhonda Marie, you better get your mess (er…she might say a different word) together.” And as soon as I would hear my middle name, I knew I had better listen.

A smile is a contagious action. Smile at the world and the world will smile back at you. I used to challenge the students I taught to walk down the halls smiling. We looked like a goofy group grinnin’ like a possum eatin’ a sweet tater, but we received numerous smiles in return. You will brighten the days of those around and make a difference in their lives… simply by smiling! When you’re smiling, no doubt you’re having a much better time than when you’re not! Smiling simply makes you feel better! Research has shown that smiling releases serotonin – a neurotransmitter that produces feelings of happiness and wellbeing. It’s like a circle of happiness. Smile and you feel happy, you feel happy and you smile! Even when you’re not feeling great, try smiling, genuinely, and see how you feel! 

Additional benefits of smiling: Lowers blood pressure, relieves stress, strengthens your immune system, and decreases pain. Since it takes at a minimum 10 muscles to create that smile, you can also claim smiling as physical activity. It only takes 6 to frown, so turn those lips upward and celebrate because you are burning calories!

So, what in the world are we supposed to do now? I mean masks are covering the smiles. I challenge you to let that smile appear in other ways. If you smile and speak at the same time, you have a happier voice. Not everyone can be as lucky as me. My voice is a happy voice (or at least that’s what I tell myself). It’s high pitched, so people tend to remember me as the girl with that voice. I had secretly hoped that the mask would take my soprano voice down to a Demi Moore raspy sexy voice, but all it did was, well…nothing.

Regardless of the mask or not, don’t stop smiling! There is too much in life to celebrate. In Proverbs 17:22, we find, “A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.” At my age, I have enough issues with my bones. I’ll stick with the cheerful heart! I often get picked on for trying to be a half full kind of girl! The reality is that just because I wear the smile, doesn’t mean I don’t recognize that there are problems, it simply means I’m choosing to look at them as opportunities and am thankful for what God has given me and guided me through.

Let’s start a movement…a monumental smile movement and see how many smiles we can share. Even with a mask, your eyes will share that smile!

So late-Lee I have been trying my hand at growing flowers.  Considering I’m 50, I would say that I’m definitely a late bloomer…tee hee!  Now, don’t get me wrong, I have dabbled with them over the years. My Mama worked hard to help me acquire the beautiful green thumb she had, but I think the color faded by the time it got to me. Both of my sisters are gifted at growing flowers, but when you come to my house, it looks like the forgotten land. Over yonder at our barn, you will often find a thriving garden that my husband and his friend tend to seasonally.  They have grown amazing veggies! But on this side of the land, the outcomes are not quite the same. I’ve bought beautiful flowers that I have planted and enjoyed for a couple of days only to watch them begin to wither away. So the cycle has continued…until now…

A couple of months ago, my husband and I spent an entire day clearing out this one flower bed. We were busier than a cat on a hot tin roof.  We cut shrubs back that had grown into trees and marveled at the fact we could actually see windows again.  The downside to that is that they needed cleaning terribly. (So, that’s another project on my list. Argh!) I was pretty certain that if his hands participated in this project, I would have better luck. I didn’t tell him that though. I wouldn’t want him to get a big head!   We dug that bed out so that it was clear of all weeds. I have admit it was quite therapeutic. It was like a purging of all the bad stuff and don’t we need to do that in our lives from time to time? After lining it and filling it with mulch, I bought beautiful flowers and planted them in pots because I haven’t had much luck with them in the ground and to my amazement they are still alive. I’m tickled pink at the success I’m having!  I’m thankful for the many rains we are getting because I know that it’s those rains that are keeping them in good shape.  I like to think that rainwater is kissed by God, so they receive a real blessing everytime it happens.  

One flower has really stood out to me.  My husband has even commented on it a few times.  It’s beautiful. It’s yellow and sunny looking! The odd thing about this flower is it is literally floating in the pot because the pot has filled with water.  It leans outward searching for it’s daily dose of sunshine.  It’s not a water plant and in fact I planted it in soil, but where it’s located the water just falls from the roof so all of the soil has worked it’s way out.  I am amazed at its will to not only survive, but thrive in its new environment.  I’m not sure what to do, but naturally, it has me thinking.  

Aren’t we like those yellow flowers? When we find ourselves living in times of the creeks rising, we often find ourselves uprooted. We may move to a new home or to another part of the state or country.  We may change positions or jobs entirely. There may be times in our lives when we find ourselves grieving the loss of someone we love. Perhaps a divorce has caused your world to turn upside down.  You may find yourself simply worn out. During those times, the roots that kept us firmly connected are suddenly searching for something to grab hold of tightly.

Seeing those flowers serves as a reminder that when we find ourselves uprooted, we can still bloom.  We may find ourselves in a new season, but it doesn’t have to be a time of survival. It can be a time of revival!   In 1 Peter-1-23, we hear from Peter.  He is reminding us that we were brought into the world by a perishable seed of our parents, but through God, we can be born anew  through an imperishable seed only God can provide.  

If you find yourself in a season where your roots are floating in water, use the soil of God’s word to help ground them in faith.  You’ll find yourself blooming in a way that brings joy to those around you just like my sweet little yellow flower does as it welcomes me home each day.  

So late-Lee, I have been dealing with anxiety. This may come as a shock to some, but the reality is many people who look like they have their act together may be falling apart on the inside. Fortunately I am not in a million pieces, but I do have a piece falling out of place along and along. My husband has told me more times than I can count that I am as nervous as a long-tailed cat in a roomful of rocking chairs. I am not looking for sympathy (or rocking chairs for that matter) just setting the stage for my story.

Yesterday, we took our jet ski out and enjoyed a beautiful pre-tropical storm day out on the river! Unless I have checked Weatherbug and know of a good chance of storms, I am totally chill on the water. It’s the one place I am not anxious or stressed. One thing I always get a giggle about is anytime we are riding the ski, out in the boat, or riding four wheelers, etc my husband turns his hat around and without the need for anymore words, I know it’s game on so I had better hold on! Yesterday was no different! That hat was turned around numerous times. He likes to go faster than butter melting on a hot biscuit!

So naturally in my element when the ski is racing through the water, I do my best stress-free thinking. My thoughts have been all over the place late-Lee. I think about our healthcare workers who have been dealing with Covid-19 for months now. Within the last month the surge our area has seen has challenged them, but like true heroes, they brave every shift they work with courage that even Superman couldn’t match. Being the mom of a nurse who has volunteered to work with these patients caring for them and (as I try to remind her every time ) bring in a little light of sweetness to them, I find myself worrying about her but she reminds me that she can do this! I realize in the future I will have another daughter who will one day end up working with very ill patients as a nurse too. She knows she, too, will need to be that same source of light. I am pretty sure my knees will be calloused from the knee-mails I will be sending to God. But, I have to remind myself what God wants us to do! He wants us to be a light for others here on earth! As a mom, it brings joy to my heart knowing what one of my nursing daughters is currently doing and then it swells like rising yeast at knowing my other daughter will join her in these battles one day.

I have been blessed to be a part of two professions that at the very root of their service is something called, “heart work!” That kind of work is truly special! But I continue to see the already stressed and worried posts by teachers, some of whom I know personally,  and others I do not know at all. I know their fears are real and should not be ignored.  If I was with them now,  I would remind them that they, too, are called to be a source of light for the students and fellow staff they will interact with daily. Like patients need their nurses, providers, and other healthcare team members, students need their teachers, paraprofessionals, administrators, custodians, etc. 

Stress is often the result of the unknowns, so arm yourself with the knowns! Wear your mask, sanitize your hands often, wear goggles or a face shield and know this…like patients, your students will get to know your eyes! They will see them sparkle and will notice how your nose crinkles at the top when you smile! They will hear the smile in your voice and feel the love through your words! Love and kindness can coexist even when the mask is on! Make sure you do welfare checks on one another. Things will happen that may cause you to have little pieces falling out of place on the inside. Chances are if it is happening to you, someone you know is having the same problem. We can look put together for a while, but eventually our eyes may leak a little. We don’t have to go through it alone. Be someone else’s glue and they will be yours.

So, how do you ease your fears and move forward to face the challenges you will undoubtedly face? You need to turn your hat backwards and lean into the wind! Treat the obstacles you will face as welcomed challenges. Show your students that when life gets hard, we can either crawl back under the covers or we can throw them off because we are tough as pine knots and meet the day like you are on the best ride of your life!

 “Whenever you are going through struggles and wonder where God is, remember the teacher is always silent during the test.” Have you ever heard or read that quote before?  It really has me thinking late-lee.  As I sit here tonight and reflect on the last (almost) 7 months, I am grateful for the many things that God has blessed me with but I’d be lying to myself and to others, if I didn’t own the fact that sometimes I get angry with God.  I feel like there are things that I have prayed so hard for that he keeps saying no to and I just don’t understand it. Much like a song I love, I just want to shake my fist at Him.  Have you ever felt that way?  I’m not proud of it, but when I began sharing stories, I wanted to share stories that were real and relatable. 

When I was a principal, I used to hang scriptures in my bathroom. (Whoever said Jesus doesn’t walk the halls of school, is sadly mistaken.) There were days I would go into my “war room” to pray just to make it through the day.  I even shared my place of refuge with some fellow teachers who I knew needed the peace of that room as much as I did occasionally. I would send them in and tell them to “read the walls”. One of my favorites (as I chuckle to myself now) is this one: James 1:2-4  “Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” I laugh because I realize the irony here.  I love this scripture because it’s about staying the course and in the end you become stronger in your faith and christian walk, but I want to skip the test. 

So I ask God if I am being tested right now?  Since I don’t have the patience to wait for a response, I’ll ponder on that thought a minute.  I like to think I am in control. If I am riding with you in the car, I am going to tell you to look out for something, brake and accelerate for you all on my side of the car. I know it’s annoying but sometimes I can’t help myself. There have been times when my husband has literally pulled the car over so he could kindly in his sweetest voice of venom inform me that if I was going to drive from the passenger seat I need to slide on over and take the wheel. I smile sheepishly and sit on my hands to keep from talking. 

During this quiet time, I believe the lesson God is trying to teach me is that only He is in control.  It’s no big secret of course. I mean I know that, but my earthly self wants to tell Him what to do. Big mistake!

I find it interesting when I can feel God trying to capture my attention. He ensures I am in the position to hear His voice or read His message. For example, I missed church a couple of Sundays for personal reasons, but when I returned the message was about how God allows us to go through tough times so we may be a light and support for others who experience similar situations. I do want to be a light for others, but I don’t want to blind them with my brightness, so maybe I could go through a little less.  

Recently, another prayer seemed to have landed somewhere else other than in God’s hands because the outcome was not what we had prayed for…again.  This time I shouted at HIm because I’m mad.  I’m sure he is looking down upon me just shaking his head.  Since He’s seeing that my head is hard and I’m very stubborn, he nudged a little harder.  And sure enough, he sent me another message. 

I was reading a blog about unanswered prayers.  I ran across a very important part on one that spoke specifically about the answer of “Wait!” During that time we are in a state of learning.  There were many references to scripture in the bible about people who had to wait and sometimes they waited for a very long time.  What I was reminded of is that God is never late or early…he is always right on time. So while we may grow tired and become frustrated, we need to remember that if we are truly trusting God and believe that He has a plan for us, then we need to sit back in full confidence that He will reveal to us our chosen path.  

During these days of darkness in our world that is full of so much unrest, sickness, and so many other things, remember that we can’t control things. We can pretend to have it all together. We can keep our lists and check things off as completed, but as sure as we are things are done, we might receive one heck of a detour. During that journey, e can only pray and trust in His plan. Quite simply, we need to sit back and seriously let Jesus take the wheel!  The days ahead are going to leave many shaking their heads and feeling frustrated, scared, and weary.  During those times we need to lift one another up and be the lights that God wants us to be. It’s not the time to divide or draw lines in the sand.  Remember, we rise by lifting others!

People who know me, know I love lipstick! I believe it has the power to change your outlook on things! Sometimes you have to face the day with fierce attitude, while other days may only need a simple sweet shimmer!

We celebrate today with palms to remind us of Jesus’ triumphant entry into Jerusalem!

He was the epitome of grace and kindness! I may not be at church today, but I will remind myself the building isn’t the church…it’s the people! I will grab the shade I would have worn to that building and I will worship Him in the world he created. I will relish in the breath I take knowing it was his breath that gave me life!

As we enter this Holy Week, let’s paint our lips with kindness and join in prayer for our world! As our patience may be wearing thin, remember these are small sacrifices we are making! God sacrificed his son, Jesus, so we may have everlasting life!

So buy the stick in your favorite shade! And, let’s be reminded our lips were meant to share kind words, sweet smiles, and prayers! #ichoosekindness do you? ❤️

I don’t know what you may be feeling, but late-lee it feels like life is spinning out of control. The last week and a half feels like two long years. The days bleed together as the headlines remain the same.  To some this virus is the very construct of some government conspiracy, while others believe it is the end of time in biblical proportions.  Regardless of what you may believe, the fear or devastation you may be feeling is very real.  Who is next? Why are we doing this? There’s nothing happening, so what’s the use? Thoughts engulf your mind much like a tornado raging through a town ripping apart structures. In its wake lies a path of destruction riddled with debris. Sleep, which is foreign to an analytical thinker, becomes even more scarce. The darkness beneath the eyes reveals the secret concerns.  The light in the eyes has dimmed within the darkness of daily despair.

So I sit. I find refuge in the warmth of the fresh air. “Breathe in. Breathe out.” I slowly remind myself.  I feel the soothing mixture of warm sun and cool breeze as the two mix perfectly to create an intoxicating calmness.  Throughout the day, I have to recenter myself. The anxiety tries to steal my breath and clamps my chest like a vice. “Faith over Fear!” “Faith over Fear!” I repeat it over and over.  I mean how can I claim the blood of Jesus and worry about what is happening around me right now? Isn’t that a sin? If I feel like I can’t trust God to care for me in the same way I can care for myself or my family, then what does that say about my relationship with Him? So, I sit.  I breathe…in…out! I focus on finding my center. For me, my center isn’t about what is found in it. It’s the who that lies in it! 

These are stressful times. The novelty of having the children home from school is wearing off as working moms or dads try to strike a harmonious stride between balancing school work with the stressors of their current work situations. The inability to go to a restaurant and have a meal with family or friends is taking its toll. The comic reality of finding shelf after shelf in grocery stores empty creates yet another concern of what will you and  your family eat.  Mentally, you may find yourself with fragmented thoughts. The “unknown” in any situation seems to be the hardest part to comprehend. How much longer, is the question that has transitioned from the lips of impatient children on trips to those of adults struggling to define indefinitely. So what do we do? 

 The way I see it is we have a choice. We can travel down the path of negative thinking pointing out one barrier after another or rise above and see this as an opportunity we can seize with positivity.  Admittedly, I have battled late-lee with that very choice. When I feel myself going down the negative path, I reach out to those I love. I don’t do it for them to agree with me and feed my negativity with more of it. I do so because I need them to remind me things are still good! People are still good! Robert Ingersoll said, “We rise by lifting others.” Sometimes I need my loved ones to help me rise by giving me a swift kick in the butt…LOL!  When we come together as one, we accomplish things we never dreamed we could. So, I say to you… Find your people! Love your people! Lift them up with truth and compassion and find joy in watching them rise! 

I vividly recall going through some dark times with my daughters. I reminded them often of the quote that goes something like “…you can’t run from the storm, but you can learn to dance in the rain.”  There were times we literally jumped and danced in puddles. Those times bring a smile to my face even as I share that now. Maya Angelou said, “The best part of life is not surviving, but thriving with passion and compassion, and humor and style and generosity and kindness.”  During this time, challenge yourself to dance in the puddles and share random acts of kindness with others. The quickest way to feel better is to help someone else. We don’t want to merely survive life as we currently know it. We want to thrive and continue to grow into good people.  Like someone sweet told me today, “This too shall pass and we will all be back together like normal.”

Prayers for each of you to stay safe and healthy! 🙂

Late-lee, I have found myself challenged.  Challenged to wrap my head around this virus that is invisibly attacking our world.  If only we could spray some sort of luminol to reveal its present location. Every person I pass that coughs or sniffles I pray for.  I look at them and think, “Do they have it?” The truth is many of us will get it and some of us may never know we actually have it when we do. I’m not afraid of the virus.  It concerns me to see our community and world shutting down in the throes of fear. 

I  find myself watching the news endlessly. I’m not really sure what I hope to see. Night after night the numbers of those infected are rising. There are many reasons that could be happening: more people are being tested; the news sensationalizing the situation, or it could be that the virus is creeping into homes and neighborhoods near us.  I think it’s time I change the channel and maybe my address. 🙂

I would never share those thoughts to scare you, but as you login to your child’s educational resources due to their school closing, seek out a store with the resources you feel you need, and watch the stock market, I’m sure the brevity of this is starting to weigh on you like those wonderfully new weighted blankets.  The difference is those blankets are meant to provide comfort. You may feel anything but comfort at the moment.  

We know we need to practice good hygiene such as frequent hand washing, not touching our faces, and  staying at least 6 feet away from others through social distancing. But what do we do to help us deal with this “new normal” in a more positive manner? We have to outsmart this virus.  It seems to have had every intention of stealing our time away from us. This virus has stolen weddings, graduations, even funerals have been impacted.  We have to show this virus we are strong.  We have to take the time we have and turn it into a positive.   So what do we do?  I’ve read a number of articles about self-care during times like these.  Keep in mind, I’m not a medical expert, but I’ve summed up a simple list of those findings below:

Recognize the symptoms of stress such as:

• • Interruptions in your sleep, concentration, eating
  • Constantly feeling worried about your health and well-being as well as those you love
  • Distracted by the news (not being able to turn it off)

Dealing with stress

• • Self-care – Believe it or not, if you find yourself at home indefinitely, now is the time to focus on you and your family.  Get up and do some exercises. If it’s just you, then develop a workout plan that includes activity in the morning and in the evening.  Gives you something to look forward to each day. Keep the exercises fun! My daughter and I just cut a rug with some country dancing. 🙂  I caught my husband taking a picture of us and laughing. I can only conclude that our attempt at good health was pure entertainment for him. The goal of distracting ourselves from the news was obviously working.  He was laughing, so there’s the bright side. 🙂 I don’t typically do these types of exercises. I am in no way capable of identifying a beat or staying in step. I can run, but not always in a straight line. Just ask my sister.  Take the family outside and draw out Hopscotch or 4-Square and get active with the kiddos. This I can do. I used to love to play both of those games. We are planning a bike ride soon and we have a beautiful walkway here in our town to get out and enjoy some sunshine.  There’s plenty of things we can do that don’t put us in with the masses.   
  • If you find you can’t sleep, then go ahead and get out of bed.  It’s best not to fight it at the moment. One way that you may be able to combat this is to leave all electronic devices plugged up somewhere else instead of in your room.  Turn the television off instead of falling asleep with it. Also, if you are an active prayer warrior, then adjust your quiet time with God closer to bedtime.  
  • Routine is key.  If you have children who find themselves suddenly out of school, go ahead and wake them up at the same time everyday.  Have breakfast with them (even if it’s cereal), talk about their lessons/plan for the day and then get dressed. Following the morning ritual, spend time in “learning mode” prior to lunch.   Remember the goal of closing schools, businesses, etc is for people to stay home.  Fill your days with activities or the days will begin to blur into one another.   I’ll share more ideas for kiddos in my next post. I’ve already seen post where parents have already suspended their children and it’s only been one day! LOL! 

Self-care is so important.  It keeps your immune system in good working order.  Do things that make you happy. Read a good book. Ride your bike. Take a walk. Start a blog.  Whatever you choose, do things that get those happy endorphins moving. As for me, I will implement what I can and I will pray!  Ephesians 6:18 instructs us to…  pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people. We can all pray for our country and the leaders who have found themselves in these unchartered waters.  We can pray for those who are taking care of those who are ill and for those who may become ill. We can pray for those who have sadly lost loved ones to this virus.  We can pray! One day we may look back to this time and think that the virus that so swiftly came in served as the glue that brought people together in a positive way. 

So late-lee, I’ve really enjoyed coming home to all of the Christmas lights. I love walking in to a home that is lit up and warm with life! I think back to the day I put all of the trees up and began decorating my home for the holiday season.  I was thinking I was being a bit overzealous and rushing time away, but what I didn’t realize at the time, was that I was actually bringing light in at the same moment time was changing bringing with it more darkness. I’m not a huge fan of the time change. When it starts getting dark at 5:30 in the evening, it makes me feel like I should be in bed.  On the flip side, you can’t beat the morning drive into work. My new route takes me over a rather large bridge. The sun is rearing its beautiful glow of pink and orange. It’s such a beautiful reminder that God has given me another day or at the very least another moment to try and make a difference. That is how I choose to start each day. I want to truly BELIEVE in some small way I can make a difference in this big ole world. I’ve tried to teach my children that it’s not what we get out of it, it’s about what we give to it! If we run around chasing things to bring fulfillment to our lives we will miss the opportunity to “fill” someone else’s.

“When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, ‘I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.’” –John 8:12 

In the same way Christmas lights can bring warmth and peace into our homes, we can do the same for others.  We can be a constant light that warms someone when they are feeling alone and cold. We can be a blinking light to bring them laughter and joy.  I don’t for one minute believe that our walk with Jesus will always be easy. It doesn’t mean we won’t lose loved ones or be immune to a cancer diagnosis, but what it does mean is we won’t be alone.  

Rather than looking forward to receiving the perfect gift this Christmas, rest in knowing you were perfectly made by God yes flaws and all. Be a gift for someone else. Be a light in a world that is so full of darkness right now. Spread some kindness this season. Pay for the person in line behind you in a drive through. Pre-pay for a cup of coffee for someone at Starbucks or somewhere. Or simply share a smile with someone as you pass by them in the hall.  It lets the person know they really do exist and we really do see them! Drop an anonymous note on the floor in hopes someone will pick it up and see the positive words you have written. Have date night in with your spouse! Do some arts and crafts with your children. Wear the Santa hat and give someone a chuckle. Give the gift of time! Time is wrapped by a perfectly colored sunrise bow! You never know when the sun may set on this thing called life, so as cliche’ as it sounds…make the moments count rather than count the moments. Keep your inner light glowing, but make sure you share it with others and make the world a brighter place! 

So late-lee, I have been reading a few posts directing blame to this group or that because of recent events in our local school system. I realize that when we are hurting, grieving from the depths of our core, anger often bubbles up. “Someone needs to take ownership of this and fix it now” may be what some are thinking.  Others may be responding in fear having thoughts such as  “What if it happens to my child?” “Teachers never do anything!” “The school doesn’t listen to my concerns.” I know people are hurting and maybe even angry. There may be negative and scary things running through minds right now, but to draw a line in the sand and then sit on one side or the other is extremely destructive.  

Let me be clear that my first job is a mom after that it is an educator. I walked in both shoes so know that what I share is coming from a place of love.  Our children need us (families and schools) to unite. Children, no matter how young or old they are, need us to help them develop coping skills for dealing with issues they may encounter.   Life will not always be easy. In fact it can be downright hard! 

When a storm is approaching, preparations are made, but that doesn’t mean there will not be a levy of devastation in the wake of it.  Like emergency officials preparing ahead of the storm, schools do take proactive measures and having been an educator for 31 years, I assure you the staff is grieving as well.  Rather than blaming educators, perhaps try a different approach. Just like parents (which like me, many of our educators are), the schools can’t stop every tragedy from happening. I wish that was one guarantee schools could make, but it would not be the truth.  As a former principal, I would often break down in tears under the pressure I put on myself to ensure the safest environment I could for the children and staff. It was a physical strain that I wore daily. For those of you who are unsure as to how to proceed, I urge you to make time to connect with the educators in your children’s lives.  Be open when they share information with you regarding their observations of your child(ren) at school. Share with them what you have learned about this or that and let’s become partners.

My heart, among many others, goes out to the families directly affected by the recent events, and while there are no words that can console or help them find peace, the one thing I know that we can do is come together and pray for them.  We also need to pray for the school staff members and students who must also reconcile in their minds the events that have taken place. I assure you that no one (including school staff) wants things like this to happen. Educators (and I use that term to define anyone working in a school), grieve like others. They arm themselves with an armor of compassion and empathy during times like this.  The hugs and words of encouragement they share with other students are acts that leave them emotionally drained with little left to support themselves. They not only think about those directly involved, but they also think about their own children. They, too, want to know why and how something could happen. To blame anyone for events such as this, doesn’t accomplish anything. I don’t mean that harshly. I assure you the enormous amount of compassion fatigue educators suffer in times like these is enough to break the strongest of spirits. I believe we should begin taking more constructive approaches during times like these.  As parents, we are our children’s first teachers. We can’t forget that we have resources our children’s teachers can’t access. We can pick up our children’s phones and review their messages. It is not a violation of their rights. Or, let me just say, I made it very clear to my children that I owned the phone they were using since I paid the bill…end of discussion. So, in my house, it was not a violation of their rights. I realize many may disagree with my parenting style in that regard, but I chose to make what my children were doing inside and outside of school my business and I also made it clear to them that they could talk to me about anything. I may not always agree with them, but I would hear them out and then we would discuss pros and cons as well as strategies for dealing with it.  I could have those tough conversations with them in our home. It would be unfair of me to expect the teachers in their lives to do that for me.   

The reality is this is not a problem that only one group can take on and cure. This is not just a concern in our small community and our local schools, this is a nationwide concern.  Suicide rates in 2017 alone were at an all time high. According to an article in the LA times in June 2019, an alarming statistic was shared, in that year alone, suicide claimed the lives of 5,016 males and 1,225 females between 15 and 24 in the United States, according to researchers who reported  in the Journal of the American Medical Assn. In that same article the following information was shared, “Miron and his colleagues suggest a litany of factors that have contributed to the increase in reported youth suicides, including high rates of depression and anxiety, unprecedented levels of social media use, and a greater willingness of families and officials to acknowledge suicide as a cause of death.” Another interesting note is that while there has been no definite root cause unearthed there’s evidence to suggest that this generation’s unique relationship to digital technology is a key factor.” Twenge was quoted as saying.  The article went on to share that our children no longer spend time doing activities such as getting adequate sleep, engage in face-to-face interaction with family and friends, because their world is now submerged in a digitally driven culture. 

Do you know that the age limit for most social media apps is 13? But, do you realize that many children are on these apps as young as age 7.  As soon as our children gain access to the global world through digital means, it becomes very hard to protect them. Have you heard of KIK or TIK TOK? In the Snapchat world, the illusion that nothing lasts forever can be misleading to young users.  I found a resource that provides support for parents to help their children interact more safely within their apps at https://www.saferinternet.org.uk/advice-centre/social-media-guides. Keep in mind, however, that what I’m referring to here is social media. The technological supports children receive at school serve a different purpose.  We need to arm ourselves with knowledge because our children are way ahead of us digitally. I am not an expert on this subject and will not claim to be, but if access to a digital world is being considered a contributing factor, then we, parents, can take control of that world. We need to help our children unplug.  That may end up being one of the best gifts we could ever give them! 

Before leaving, I  think it’s a good time to also share this bit of information from the article: “Asking kids if they feel down or suicidal will not cause them to be down or suicidal,” she said. “Don’t be afraid to ask.” Health officials urge people with suicidal thoughts to seek help by contacting the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at (800) 273-8255, or to use the Crisis Text Line by texting “Home” to 741741 for immediate assistance. 

Our children and adults need much support in the aftermath of events such as these, the following link contains some strategies that may be helpful.  https://www.apa.org/helpcenter/coping-after-suicide 

Note: Much of the statistical information for this post came from https://www.latimes.com/science/la-sci-suicide-rates-rising-teens-young-adults-20190618-story.html 

Please take a moment to visit http://www.copdfoundation.org to learn about ways to support the research surrounding COPD. Imagine yourself fighting to breathe. The fear grips you like a vice as you open your mouth to breathe, but can’t catch your breath. My mother died from complications related to COPD. The sad thing is she was too embarrassed to tell us she even had it. If only we had known, maybe we could have convinced her to get on the oxygen support.

COPD or Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease is really an umbrella term used to describe progressive lung diseases. While it is an incurable disease, you or your loved one can live with COPD by seeking treatment and managing the symptoms.

Take a deep breath right now…then imagine you couldn’t! Shortness of breath, wheezing, frequent coughing, and tightness in your chest are all symptoms of COPD. Among things you shouldn’t do is work around chemicals such as paint and cleaning products. My mom had spent several days in a townhome prepping it to sell. Little did she know the joy and excitement she had at the prospect of selling it, would dissipate as she exacerbated the symptoms which resulted in an attack that would end her precious life!

Let’s support the research in hopes a cure may be found! Meanwhile, wear a yellow ribbon for your hero and mine!

Well, it looks like the girls in our family are definitely moving towards making this a collaborative project. We hope you enjoy my oldest daughter’s debut piece about how she meets her struggles head on and finds peace in the comfort of the waves!

I’m sure many people reading this post have seen a wave in the ocean unraveling onto the shore, but have you ever studied it? It’s actually quite majestic. The water pulls in unison towards the horizon of what seems to be the endless ocean, it draws upwards to heaven, and just as it meets its peak it crashes into itself. I have carried myself to the beach many times just to stand in awe of it. The ocean waves have always brought me a sense of peace. I’ve had many moments in this life that have drawn me to the beach to lay all of my cares and worries at its shore as I cry out to God in prayer. I’m 26 years old and my life has been my kind of beautiful story. I’ve had moments in life where everything was moving in unison, much like the waves. My husband proposed to me in 2013 and we married in 2014. I got into my nursing school of choice and graduated with my BSN, and gratefully had a solid nursing job before I walked across that stage to receive my diploma. My life was beginning to peak when my husband and I finally started talking about expanding our little family beyond just us. We had a positive pregnancy test and cried together (happy tears of course). Our hearts were overjoyed as we shared the news with our family and began to picture our new life as 3 instead of 2; however, my life crashed down all around me, engulfing my soul in pure darkness after we miscarried in January 2017. (There is absolutely nothing more isolating than this– Post soon to come). Just like the waves in the ocean, I pulled myself together. The pieces of my heart that seemed to be shattered all around me drew themselves back together, centering itself where it belonged within me. My life once more peaked when we had our baby girl in November 2017. Of course bringing a baby into the world comes with its own ups and downs, but my life has taught me something very important. Even when life seems to be going perfectly, there are going to be crashes or moments where you feel like you’re being engulfed by the world around you- and that’s okay. How you view the peaks and crashes are up to you. I choose to view my life as an ocean wave- it may crash, but it recovers and tries again. All the while, looking beautiful as it continues.

-CC

A year ago, my husband and I bought a jet ski. Now, if you knew my husband, you would know he’s not cheap, but he’s tighter than a flea’s ass over a rain barrel. So, I was grinnin’ like a possum eatin’ a sweet tater. Yep! I was pretty excited! My daughters had a field day with this purchase…they teased us by saying we were having a mid-life crisis. CRISIS? What? To me that has such a negative tone. I mean after all, a crisis is a time of intense difficulty or trouble. Could it be that my husband and I are in crisis? Our oldest is married and has her own family, while our youngest is in college and loving that life! Both are happy living their lives, so are we in crisis? No way! We are so proud of how our little family that started 29 years ago is evolving. We aren’t perfect and have many moments of dysfunction, but that just keeps our lives colorful!

Are all empty-nesters in crisis if they begin taking trips, eating out more, buying toys like jet skis? I am here to proclaim an emphatic no! We are actually in a season of arrival…tee hee! We’ve worked hard at our jobs, taking our children to this practice or that, or ______________ (fill in the blank with whatever keeps you or (kept you) very busy. Our family meals were eating McDonald’s in the car as we zoomed from soccer or cheerleading to a school function, and realizing that on Friday night we forgot we have to wake up at 5:00 a.m. which means grabbing powdered donuts from the corner store on Saturday to go to a another game or competition! I’d look in the mirror and the activities of the week I had just ended looked like 10 miles of bad road all over my face. YIKES! Does this sound familiar to any of you?

I don’t know how you guys handled that season or currently handle it, but I found myself living in a fog, double-fisted with coffee to get me through the days of absolute zero time of rest! Yep, our family had more things going on at one time than you could shake a stick at! But now, I sleep in on Saturday mornings (sleeping until 6:00 a.m. is sleeping in), snuggle with the hubby (well maybe not exactly that since he’s always up earlier), but I do get to snuggle with a good warm cup of coffee until I’m ready to get dressed for the day.

We live a life of spontaneity (when I plan it out… (LOL) We decide at last minute to head out on the river, to take a trip, to go to dinner, and it’s simply wonderful! So, crisis? Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit because I absolutely think not! We are simply living in a new season of our life!

So late-lee as I reflect on our life, I don’t regret any of the seasons our family has gone through! Seasons strengthen you, soften you, and teach you wonderful lessons! Our children grow up faster than green grass growing on a goose, so love them, spend time with them, and most importantly, teach them through your actions and words how to be a good person. Show others kindness so they see what it looks like in action! The best legacy we can leave in this world is goodness. It’s not money or material things that matter. It’s how we treat others. Often in times of crisis, we recognize the goodness and kindness of those around us. Crisis or not, #ichoosekindness… do you? Let’s let that hashtag saturate all social media sources! Maybe just maybe in this season of all of our lives we can inspire goodness!

I’ve always loved being on the water. It’s truly a time when I can disconnect. My love affair probably started because when we were younger, we spent a lot of time as kids fishing, skiing, camping on sandbars and river banks.  I have a lot of fond memories of those times. I was never a fan of storms, though. Too many times, we found ourselves trying to outrun the storm to the dock only to be swallowed up in the darkness and wind.  Obviously, as I sit here writing this, you realize we always survived even when the winds and lightning were fierce! (thankfully) For someone (a worrier) like me, rising out of the depths of those storms, left me feeling stronger! I always wanted to shake my fist up at the sky and say, “YOU THOUGHT YOU HAD ME, but look at me now!” 

I think about the many crews at sea who could see the storm coming, so they would go about their duties of adjusting the sails. Sometimes it required the sails to be lowered completely in order to reduce any resistance for the wind.  Wind can be wicked. The gusts of wind reach out like a giant hand through the darkness to pick up and toss anything in its path. You don’t know you are in its grip until you are…I often wonder how quickly they could adjust when gales suddenly attacked their ships. It’s like they bubbled up out of the sea to grab them without warning.

If you think about it, life really is like a ship on water. People go through life living by adjusting their sails as needed to avoid being pulled apart.  The winds of change can be full of happiness and hope with the union of two people in love, the birth of a child, beginning a new job, starting a new year at school and let’s face it the list will continue on to infinity.  But, life is full of storms too. Divorces, affairs, death of loved ones, losing a job, fights with loved ones, losing a home to fire or literally to a storm such as a tornado or hurricane. And, yes, we could continue forever with this list. What we shouldn’t do is go around comparing life storms with one another like mine is worse than yours. Because let’s face it…it doesn’t matter how big your boat or ship is, to a canoe in the water, a summer storm can feel like a hurricane! 

So, “Late” Lee, my family has been confronted with some changing winds that is requiring us to adjust our sails. I truly believe when the questions kick in that’s where faith must begin, so we have to anchor ourselves in God. I love the verse, “ We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm, and secure.” – Hebrews 6:19 I am not sure how you choose to weather your storms, but I choose to hit my knees and pray. (It doesn’t mean I don’t cry or ask why.)  I remind myself constantly that God knew this was going to happen before we did, so he knows the outcomes. He never makes mistakes, so we should just lean on him for guidance and understanding.  

All people weather storms. Some may choose to give up and live in fear of living life to its fullest and refuse to see the beauty of the storms, but others may choose to find joy in them! Garth Brooks had a song (back in the day) that I loved. One of the verses of the song went something like, I could have missed the pain, but then I would have missed the chance to dance with you. We can’t stop living life! There’s too many dances to be shared!

Storms may wash away homes and land, but in the aftermath, often the true human spirit is revealed.  I’ll never forget what it looked like at the school I was serving as principal at following one of the hurricanes. I drove up and cried. Beautiful oaks that I had grown up seeing had been badly injured. Tangled heaps of broken limbs (huge limbs) were all over the grounds.  School would be in session the next day, so how would our children run and play on the playground with the debris? We met with our staff (the ones who could make it back in to town) and you know what they did…they helped adjust the sails of our sweet school, rolled up their sleeves and we went to work.  So many times that morning, I wiped away salty tears because the kindness and beauty of what I was a witness to filled me with an overwhelming joy. Our county maintenance crew brought chainsaws and hands to help lift. The National Guard appeared a couple of hours later and we cheered as they walked across the playground in our direction. Parents and children joined in helping to ready this field for the children the next day.  

We greeted our children the next morning with hugs of welcome and comfort.  And we were filled with pride as they played on the playground where a storm tried to prevent the joy, but because we adjusted our sails, we emerged a stronger school family! 

When the storms threaten, anchor yourself in faith, adjust the sails, and look forward to the beauty that you will encounter. Storms have a way of renewing us and ironically, helping us find our way!