Birthdays in Heaven

September 19, 2013 was the last day I spoke to my mom. It was her birthday, so I gave  her a call. I was leaving work and wanted to stop by to see her. She didn’t sound well on the phone and asked me to wait until she was feeling better because she didn’t want me to catch whatever it was she had.  We talked for a few minutes longer, and before hanging up, I remember telling her that I loved her and she replied simply, “I love you too!” I never dreamed that would be the last conversation I would ever have with her, but it was! 

I was never good at birthday parties for my kids.  As a matter of fact, I can only recall having a few of them. Birthdays often consisted of family gatherings and dinners out at their favorite restaurants unlike the birthday parties they attended.  I worked so many hours, so the idea of having to create this magical experience and trying to earn a “Mother of the Year” trophy for the best party ever, was way out of my reach. As a matter of fact, my “Mother of the Year” trophy case is absolutely empty! 🙂 I knew my limits, so it was better if I kept it simple.  I mean that’s how it was for me growing up. There were four of us kids, so we had parties all the time, but I do remember on our birthdays, we always had a cake. Sometimes it was homemade and sometimes my mom would have our neighbor bake it. Regardless, there was cake. And, people who know me well…know… I like FROSTING…and lots of it! Save me the corner piece every time!

So late-lee when I think about my mom’s birthday, I think about a birthday party in Heaven, and I find I am simply in awe of what it must be like. I imagine the best party I’ve ever seen or heard about here on Earth and realize that party pales in comparison to the celebrations had with Jesus.  My mom will now celebrate her 6th birthday with Jesus. (I have counted the birthdays up twice. I can’t believe that much time has passed.) In my mind, I envision beautiful balloons and flowers in colors so rich they have depth to them and hear music so moving it makes you cry, but not a sad cry. It’s one of those cries that leaves you refreshed! To know my mom is in Heaven celebrating with Jesus warms my heart.  I miss her terribly and would give anything to wrap my arms around her and drink in her beautiful smell (She loved to wear Estee Lauder.), rest my head on her shoulder and have her tell me, “Rhonda Marie, you are doing alright!” 

Since I can’t do that, I’ll settle into my thoughts today and envision her in Heaven with a sassy smile on her face! She’ll have her cake and eat it too because calories definitely won’t count in Heaven, right? 

Many of you reading this post today may have also lost someone you love. I use present tense because I don’t think we ever stop loving them. I sometimes wonder if people think I’m weird because I still miss my mom so much! I mean shouldn’t I have moved on already? A dear friend left a bible verse on my computer at work one day. I still have that sliver of a paper. On it was Psalm 34:18 – The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. It is such a good reminder that we are never alone in our grief. It’s important to note that grief for each person is very different. I do find that most days I can speak of her and not have memories leak down my cheeks, but then there are other times that the sadness washes over me like a wave crashing on the sand. I’m not sure I understand why, but I remind myself it’s a process. I believe life is fragile. Love hard and tell those you love that you love them! Never let them wonder. Like I said in the beginning. September 19th was the very last time I heard the words, “I love you” from my mom. I’ll never forget them!

Here’s a little poem I wrote just for this day for her!  I hope you enjoy it! 

The gates must be adorned with flowers in bloom.

The gold shines brightly and the smells of confectionery sweetness fill every room.

I look up to the skies to see if I can catch a glimpse of you –

sliding down rainbows or floating on a bird’s wing or two.

I look for you dancing in the clouds way up high- reminding myself you’re eternally living… never did you die! 

I savor the memories of past birthdays now frozen in space. 

The echoes of my love for you now rolling down my face.

Yes, this is another birthday,  I’ll miss eating cake with you. 

I’ll miss the birthday hug and the precious, “I love you!” 

But, my heart remains happy as I’ll never forget…

You, my mom, received the ultimate gift! 

So, celebrate with Jesus in his Heavenly delight, 

where the candles burn vividly like stars in the night.

I’ll send you a hug on the wings of the wind.

I’ll rest easy knowing one day, we’ll eat cake together again.